I'll Get You My Pretties!

Today is another day of reflection on parenting. National Clean Your Room day actually, so very fitting the day before Mother's Day. With all my little girls' rooms in tip top tornado- terrorized states, is it any wonder that today I walked my mile in these beauties? We didn't make much progress on their dirty world, I'm afraid, despite my tone and attitude. Sigh.

"Who would have thought a good little girl like you
 could destroy my beautiful wickedness!"
-Wicked Witch of the West, as she died.

       I've been telling you how lovely being a mother is haven't I? Spinning you into my web of pleasantries and sweetness, caring for four darling angels day in and day out. Mesmerizing I'm sure it has been, hypnotizing even, reading about our days frolicking in the sunshine and smelling the roses. Now here we are, stuck together in this sticky mess, me about to unleash my fangs, and you caught unawares. 

       Today has been a Wicked Witch type of day. Perhaps it could be simply a "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" excuse, or even "had a long week." Honestly though, sometimes this is just me. I'm passionate and loud and I have high expectations. That mix will throw me over the edge quickly at times and my patience will have dropped out from under me before anyone even realizes it...least of all my family. 

       So when I say that I've been witchy, all green and shrill, cackling and snide, I mean it. Sure I have respect enough to let my girls know when I recognize my fuse is getting short. I can choose to step out to diffuse my frustrations as well, when I feel myself getting too close to losing it. But that isn't always the case. 

It wasn't today. Lashing out, yelling, my temper broke free more than once to my dismay. I'm calling myself out tonight for that bad behavior. After the days of reflecting on the ideals that I am teaching my girls and the insights I am gathering in the process, tonight is all about the reality of the hard parts of parenting. 

       I'm not the best at learning from my mistakes and when someone is pushing my buttons, testing her limits, it might take a time or two for me to catch on. Meanwhile I will have sacrificed a few tubes of chapstick to little hands that have scavenged it to eat, or draw artwork on my mirror instead of napping...I will have "misplaced" a pack of cookies only to find the wrapper mysteriously hiding under a bed and a little someone's face covered in crumbs...and I will trip over shoes, dolls, legos (no those ALWAYS get stepped on), backpacks by that effervescent 'not me' or 'I don't know who' child that left it behind. Who can blame those button pushers? Rules and limits are meant to be tested, crossed, blown to smitherines, right? It's really what I do with the discipline when push comes to 'she shoved me' or pulled hair, touched me, looked at me and all the like. Here's hoping I do that discipline the right way the majority of the time. The perfect sweet mom way that I want to use, teaching life lessons with honey, drawing my little pestering flies in rather than chasing them away with vinegar. 

I do know this:

       My high expectations are probably not going to change too much over time. I pray I can help them to be met by some of that honest and open communication I like so much ;). And I'm not sure my passion will fade (or that I want it to) so I am going to need to realize that what is important to me might not rank very highly for the rest of my family. Hmmm, and the impatience and volume factors might need to be tuned down, something that will take plenty of hard work on my part, and some forgiveness on theirs. When all is said and done, when they are grown and far out of the reach or need of my rules, let's hope the quote from the original Wicked Witch of the West rings true, that my good little girls, in line with my attempts at taking the right road, will have destroyed that bad mommy's beautiful wickedness. 

       It would certainly give me a reason to step out of these crazy shoes! Problem is, I really have no idea what style that Good Witch wears...