Hi I'm Beth the Nurse.

Hi, I'm Beth and I'll be your Nurse today. 

It's a fairly standard greeting in my line of work. I only use it on weekends as those are the only shifts I am clocked in to play this role professionally, the only days I get paid to call myself a nurse. I am finding though, as I'm sure it goes for many of us in healthcare, that it isn't the only time we are asked to wear this hat, or these shoes if you will.

       

My RN uniform. Love my comfy kicks :)

       I walked a mile in these shoes today and none of it on paid time. Not that I mind. After all, I became a nurse because I love caring for people. It has been one of the most amazing parts of my life that I get to be a professional on so many days and yet am blessed to bring my skill set home to use more casually as well! 

I started out my day lounging in bed, just until someone bumped her head. Nurse mom to the rescue, not much to do, just reassurance and acknowledging the hurt. Pulled two slivers out of the other little one's hand, skillfully enough that she didn't squirm or flinch, which I thought was impressive for being two years old :). 

       The last use of my nursing skills today has been a bit more challenging. It is one that has given me a headache tonight and caused me a little Grief. My oldest daughter has Type 1 Diabetes, newly diagnosed no more than six months ago. I haven't posted much about it yet as I'm still working on the latest love and Grief in our lives, our son. But Charlotte's diagnosis hit us hard at the end of last year and every now and again, strikes a nerve in me for so many reasons. 

       I played Nurse mom this afternoon at Pump 101 for her. It is a class designed to jump-start the insulin pump process once the kiddo and family think they are ready for a leap of faith into a new management system. It was a leap that before Griffin died, we were not going to be ready to make this year. Now, well, now is a different story. Now there is no little buddy holding us back from heading into the next steps of Pump Prep, Pump Start, and Pump Follow-up. All this on top of her regular endocrinology appointments, sick day managing, and growth spurts. Thank goodness I was a nurse first, at least I feel like I have a handle on this. 

One of ten sheets of "nurse math" we are asked to complete to start the Pump process.

       To say that I wish things were different is an understatement. When Aksel and I had talked about children, we had hoped never to be managing a chronically ill or disabled child. He had grown up with a younger sister who handled her illness amazingly, and parents who took to juggling their lives and hers with gusto. I wasn't sure I could ever be that brave. I wasn't sure how I would manage being a nurse by day and a nurse mom by night. 

       And here we find ourselves, faced with no other alternative, and I am me, Beth the Nurse, Beth the mom, who cannot imagine another path. My girls are the same as they always were, bumped heads and skinned knees, slivers and diabetes all tied together for me to manage. Tonight's management includes a packet of paperwork for me to fill in, math to do, critical thinking to write out. It wouldn't be any different I suppose if I were not a nurse; I would still be a mom, struggling as I look at the paper standing between my child and the next step in her life, and I would fill it out and turn it in, anything to keep her healthy and happy. 

       

       I am blessed to get to be Mom, Nurse mom -when she is needed, 5 whole days every week. Working just the weekends as a "Real Nurse" gives me that flexibility and time to devote to my family. I do enjoy the days too, when I leave my family behind and am privileged enough to care for strangers as well. As a float RN, I meet patients in many different stages of their lives, different ages and of different health statuses. I'm loud enough at work also to be a part of many different committees, sharing my many opinions and letting my voice be heard, not just for myself but also for the coworkers I am pleased to represent. Having only been a nurse for 8 years, I give myself a pat on the back for as far as I have come in my career. I can't say I have loved every minute of it but I also cannot imagine another calling I would have enjoyed more. It is the one pair of shoes that I can say are comfortable to wear and give me so much pride every time I look at myself wearing them.  

So for today, a celebration again, of who I am---Happy Nurse's Day!