Irreverent Eloquence

     This day has been sneaking up on us. Slinking, sly like a fox, as the days of our lives keep turning. We've known it was coming like every anniversary does. We've seen it a year in advance. January 24th, 2015, just a day right? A day like any other day.       Last year, this was just a day. A day when I drove my kindergartener to school in the morning, took a nap on the couch midday, while my one and four year old snoozed in their beds. We piled in the car in the afternoon and I took all three girls to the dentist, my 38week pregnant belly leading the way. It was an evening that started slowly, I sat and chatted in a friend's kitchen while the girls had a short playdate. I wondered if the beginnings of labor was coming on and when we loaded up again for the hour drive home, I was feeling a little more sure. The long hour drive home was quiet, those wild animals I had carted around were quietly snoring. I put my husband and my team on stand-by, I messaged a few close

       I've been crossing days off the calendar, letting the time flow through me languidly, waiting and watching my life unfold. The last few weeks have been rushed with holidays and sick kids and a death in my extended family. I've barely been able to think straight, which in itself means that I haven't been doing much grief work. My phone called my attention to that today.      I got a new one, a cell phone, as a Christmas gift and that upgraded all my apps. I was excited to download all the fun ones and grabbed "Timehop" as one of the first. I wasn't thinking about how it might catch me off guard, how it might plunge me into the distant past as well as the recent history. At first it was fun, showed my handsome husband in the sunshine on a trip to Mexico two years ago. Shortly after, a few holiday celebrations and cute photos of my girls growing.        It was the first birthday it flashed on Dec 28th, my middle daughter's traumatic birth and sub