Ambivalence

I thought I could be ready.

To 'cross that bridge'

To 'weather that storm'

Enough time has passed,

My fill of heartache endured,

Now a new love could form. 

Hesitant, unsteady, the path so unsure, 

Cautious and tempered in each intimation.

Awareness creeps in, a chill to the core,

A silent heart denies love's formation. 

The want of a life, 

Return to before, is no longer the desired destination. 

The "should be", the rote, 

Patterned choices in my past, now a questionable proclamation.

"You are naive and unprepared."

"You have no need to explore."

"Stop here," my mind stalls. 

That bridge will have to wait, 

Would I survive another storm? 

I back away as uncertainty calls.